i developed a new hobby. UNFORTUNATELY it's one of those expensive ones. this is literally a personal Fragrantica without all the helpful stuff and funny reviews (you get 1 funny review at best: mine)

Tom Ford - Neroli Portofino

• format: edp
• size: 100 ml

this bottle is like at least 10 years old now and was stolen from my mom, who in turn got it from some chick that stole it. i know this because there's no fucking way my mom would've paid full price for a full size bottle of this. i also know because it had a huge TESTER sticker before it fell off in the many house moves i had throughout my adulthood. lol i think i even let my husband use this. this singular bottle passed at least 4 hands, ignoring whoever used it in the shop it came from.

this was my introduction to neroli. I FUCKING LOVE NEROLI!!! it was my first go-to perfume to last more than 2 seconds and it was a game changer. it also made me a fan of """unisex""" scents.

i need a different neroli perfume though. this bottle is so old that it developed a real funk to it that doesn't sit well on the skin. i have no idea if this shit is even safe for the skin anymore. well... i'll keep using it on my clothes. it's got history. i don't think i'll ever throw it away.

Jul Et Mad - Stilettos on Lex

• format: edp
• size: 50ml

another hand-me-down from mummy, who got it from her bestie, who's a bit kooky. this perfume also has a kooky undertone, but it's elegant about it. this is so sweet but not sugary, so indulgent and fit for a fancy dress party, a really fun one at that. this motherfucker lasts on me for TWO days. it does Not leave. it makes its presence known. i wish i wore this more often if it didn't feel like a formal event every time i wore it

Pua Nanala - Sunny Moani

• format: edp
• size: 8ml

i got this in don quihote in japan babyyyy!!! oh my god it's so summery. the fact that i was on vacation while i bought and wore it only added to its effortless summer vibe. it leans femme but i think it's unisex. if you smelled like it i'd think you're a cool guy.

i noticed one thing about perfumes in japan: they are pretty powdery. this definitely has a bit of the powderiness, it attempts some sort of floral? but the stars here are the amber/musky/woody base notes that somehow feel so lightweight in this, and they STICK.

Vasilisa - Nude One

• format: edp
• size: 8ml

my other japan trip perfume, from some random drug store. IT HAS KUROMI ON IT.

it smells like fresh citrus right after the spray, but it settles into something ladylike, yet not taking itself seriously about it. less powdery than the sunny moani, but has some floweriness! the end's slightly sweet and light, but not faded into nothingness. noice.

Tom Ford - Fucking Fabulous

• format: edp
• size: 10ml

OH BOY HERE WE GO

i asked my husband for this for christmas after smelling the candle variant (lol) in an overcrowded outlet and getting very disgusted by it. besides the candle's layer of dust, it smelled like burned rubber and asphalt. it was terrible as a candle BUT! there was something sexy underneath that yuck. the name is also raunchy so i fell for the marketing like the fucking lemming that i am.

i can't explain my sick obsession with this thing. i kept the box and all, and the bottle is an oversized cylinder, overkill for the little liquid it actually holds. it doubles as a minimalistic self defence weapon that fits your bimbo purse: you can cause blunt force trauma if you throw this at someone's head.

the first spray is Whoa Mama what the fuck. it's a battle of which smell gets your attention first. bits of what i really didn't like about the candle are apparent here, but by god by the middle and end of it, it wears down so nicely, so smoothly. i can still smell of it in the morning, and in contrast to all the batshit smells in the beginning, the end leaves only the best parts, once it's mixed with your chemistry. not to be Jeremy Fragrance about it, but it reminds me of the aura you get after a very bdsm night.

whenever i want to feel saucy i spray this. or when i want to freak out my coworkers i spray this. i feel unstoppable, i'm that boss bitch that smells of rubber for some reason but damn it fortunately wears well on my skin. it's the conflicting animalistic and clean undertones that really make it work, and make it so addictive for me.

if i get into an uber for the club right after spraying it, the smell gives me and everyone in the car a headache. i love this stupid boujie ass perfume. it caused me some sort of irreversible damage.

Paco Rabanne - Invictus

• format: edp
• size: 1.5 ml x 2

LOL YEAH i used not one, but TWO samples of this fuckboy perfume just for shits and giggles. i did like the citrus/oceanic notes of it tho, and this is actually what made me like "animalic" undertones in the first place.

Tom Ford - Bitter Peach

• format: edp
• size: 100ml

i got this as a birthday gift for my mum. i borrowed it. and then she borrowed it, and so on and so forth until it ended up back at hers.

it did not lie! it is bitter, and it is peach, and it is very pleasant. it was one of the few mr Fords that i was happy to wear on broad daylight, and that wouldn't offend anyone, but was still interesting enough to give a fuck about spraying.

Ted Baker - Mia

• format: edt
• size: 30ml

i just finished this puppy before writing this. this is probably one of the nicest, brightest rosy perfumes i've smelled. i always felt a burst of joy putting this on. it's like a friend :) it was so affordable as well, it's the best drugstore perfume i've had! i wish it was an edp and lasted more than 30 mins!!!

might repurchase but i haven't seen it in stores since i first got it. rip queen.

Rituals - Rêve de Hanami

• format: edp
• size: 15ml

forgive me for being a rituals girlie but i like their products. i got this for my birthday in the airport

it's Obviously cherry blossom, and it could've went full granny about it, but it thankfully didn't (too much). the fruitiness does it justice, but it ends up on this generic clean scent.

it's edp but uhhh i don't remember it lasting like my other edps. oh well! it's mainly for travelling

Jo Malone - Pomegranate Noir

• format: cologne
• size: 9ml

bro i'll be real i bought this blind online because of the name and scent profile. i went "omg this is rodi" and blacked out, hitting "checkout" as my head hit the keyboard. it showed up 2 weeks late at my door (and that's how i also got a bunch of tom ford samples as a pity gift. tbh i forgot i ordered it by then. but s/o to lookfantastic for fuelling my tom ford collection!)

this thing is siiick but not in a weird way; masc-leaning but still unisex so it's very gender for me. it's potent as shit so i have to do just one strategic spray of it. i love its notes: besides the pomegranate there's a type of floral that isn't girly, and i only wished it lasted a bit longer. but it's overpowered in the beginning by the cloves, it's so HEAVY on cloves. so so clovey. it eventually settles into a cozy, fruity scent for me, but i have to forget that whole Clove situation in the beginning.

conclusion: very Rodi coded. the off-putting clove thing ruins the whole first impression, but it settles in the background as something warm and familiar and lets the other sexy bits shine. sniff him.

Tom Ford - Oud Minerale

• format: edp
• size: 1.5ml

i got this for free after the jo malone mishap. i sprayed this on my wrist and yeah. it's aight. very inoffensive after getting used to Fucking Burnt Rubber from them. i guess i'll use it in my first week at my new job? it smells Business: safe and a bit put together. once my new coworkers feel comfortable in my presence, i can scare them with my other perfumes.

...to be continued...

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honorable mentions

• jo malone lime/basil candle i got as a gift from my bestie. one of my favourite candles i'm so sad it's gone :(
• all my teenage moschino eau de toilettes. you were the Gateway Drug