i developed a new hobby. UNFORTUNATELY it's one of those expensive ones. this is literally a personal Fragrantica without all the helpful stuff and funny reviews (you get 1 funny review at best: mine)

i am slowly going thru my perfume collection and providing impressions here. this is chronological btw, any updates are found at the end.

Tom Ford - Neroli Portofino

• format: edp
• size: 100 ml

this bottle is like at least 10 years old now and was stolen from my mom, who in turn got it from some chick that stole it. i know this because there's no fucking way my mom would've paid full price for a full size bottle of this. i also know because it had a huge TESTER sticker before it fell off in the many house moves i had throughout my adulthood. lol i think i even let my husband use this. this singular bottle passed at least 4 hands, ignoring whoever used it in the shop it came from.

this was my introduction to neroli. I FUCKING LOVE NEROLI!!! it was my first go-to perfume to last more than 2 seconds and it was a game changer. it also made me a fan of """unisex""" scents.

i need a different neroli perfume though. this bottle is so old that it developed a real funk to it that doesn't sit well on the skin. i have no idea if this shit is even safe for the skin anymore. well... i'll keep using it on my clothes. it's got history. i don't think i'll ever throw it away.

Jul Et Mad - Stilettos on Lex

• format: edp
• size: 50ml

another hand-me-down from mummy, who got it from her bestie, who's a bit kooky. this perfume also has a kooky undertone, but it's elegant about it. this is so sweet but not sugary, so indulgent and fit for a fancy dress party, a really fun one at that. this motherfucker lasts on me for TWO days. it does Not leave. it makes its presence known. i wish i wore this more often if it didn't feel like a formal event every time i wore it

Pua Nanala - Sunny Moani

• format: edp
• size: 8ml

i got this in don quihote in japan babyyyy!!! oh my god it's so summery. the fact that i was on vacation while i bought and wore it only added to its effortless summer vibe. it leans femme but i think it's unisex. if you smelled like it i'd think you're a cool guy.

i noticed one thing about perfumes in japan: they are pretty powdery. this definitely has a bit of the powderiness, it attempts some sort of floral? but the stars here are the amber/musky/woody base notes that somehow feel so lightweight in this, and they STICK.

Vasilisa - Nude One

• format: edp
• size: 8ml

my other japan trip perfume, from some random drug store. IT HAS KUROMI ON IT.

it smells like fresh citrus right after the spray, but it settles into something ladylike, yet not taking itself seriously about it. less powdery than the sunny moani, but has some floweriness! the end's slightly sweet and light, but not faded into nothingness. noice.

Tom Ford - Fucking Fabulous

• format: edp
• size: 10ml

OH BOY HERE WE GO

i asked my husband for this for christmas after smelling the candle variant (lol) in an overcrowded outlet and getting very disgusted by it. besides the candle's layer of dust, it smelled like burned rubber and asphalt. it was terrible as a candle BUT! there was something sexy underneath that yuck. the name is also raunchy so i fell for the marketing like the fucking lemming that i am.

i can't explain my sick obsession with this thing. i kept the box and all, and the bottle is an oversized cylinder, overkill for the little liquid it actually holds. it doubles as a minimalistic self defence weapon that fits your bimbo purse: you can cause blunt force trauma if you throw this at someone's head.

the first spray is Whoa Mama what the fuck. it's a battle of which smell gets your attention first. bits of what i really didn't like about the candle are apparent here, but by god by the middle and end of it, it wears down so nicely, so smoothly. i can still smell of it in the morning, and in contrast to all the batshit smells in the beginning, the end leaves only the best parts, once it's mixed with your chemistry. not to be Jeremy Fragrance about it, but it reminds me of the aura you get after a very bdsm night.

whenever i want to feel saucy i spray this. or when i want to freak out my coworkers i spray this. i feel unstoppable, i'm that boss bitch that smells of rubber for some reason but damn it fortunately wears well on my skin. it's the conflicting animalistic and clean undertones that really make it work, and make it so addictive for me.

if i get into an uber for the club right after spraying it, the smell gives me and everyone in the car a headache. i love this stupid boujie ass perfume. it caused me some sort of irreversible damage.

Paco Rabanne - Invictus

• format: edp
• size: 1.5 ml x 2

LOL YEAH i used not one, but TWO samples of this fuckboy perfume just for shits and giggles. i did like the citrus/oceanic notes of it tho, and this is actually what made me like "animalic" undertones in the first place.

Tom Ford - Bitter Peach

• format: edp
• size: 100ml

i got this as a birthday gift for my mum. i borrowed it. and then she borrowed it, and so on and so forth until it ended up back at hers.

it did not lie! it is bitter, and it is peach, and it is very pleasant. it was one of the few mr Fords that i was happy to wear on broad daylight, and that wouldn't offend anyone, but was still interesting enough to give a fuck about spraying.

Ted Baker - Mia

• format: edt
• size: 30ml

i just finished this puppy before writing this. this is probably one of the nicest, brightest rosy perfumes i've smelled. i always felt a burst of joy putting this on. it's like a friend :) it was so affordable as well, it's the best drugstore perfume i've had! i wish it was an edp and lasted more than 30 mins!!!

might repurchase but i haven't seen it in stores since i first got it. rip queen.

Rituals - Rêve de Hanami

• format: edp
• size: 15ml

forgive me for being a rituals girlie but i like their products. i got this for my birthday in the airport

it's Obviously cherry blossom, and it could've went full granny about it, but it thankfully didn't (too much). the fruitiness does it justice, but it ends up on this generic clean scent.

it's edp but uhhh i don't remember it lasting like my other edps. oh well! it's mainly for travelling

Jo Malone - Pomegranate Noir

• format: cologne
• size: 9ml

bro i'll be real i bought this blind online because of the name and scent profile. i went "omg this is rodi" and blacked out, hitting "checkout" as my head hit the keyboard. it showed up 2 weeks late at my door (and that's how i also got a bunch of tom ford samples as a pity gift. tbh i forgot i ordered it by then. but s/o to lookfantastic for fuelling my tom ford collection!)

this thing is siiick but not in a weird way; masc-leaning but still unisex so it's very gender for me. it's potent as shit so i have to do just one strategic spray of it. i love its notes: besides the pomegranate there's a type of floral that isn't girly, and i only wished it lasted a bit longer. but it's overpowered in the beginning by the cloves, it's so HEAVY on cloves. so so clovey. it eventually settles into a cozy, fruity scent for me, but i have to forget that whole Clove situation in the beginning.

conclusion: very Rodi coded. the off-putting clove thing ruins the whole first impression, but it settles in the background as something warm and familiar and lets the other sexy bits shine. sniff him.

Tom Ford - Oud Minerale

• format: edp
• size: 1.5ml

i got this for free after the jo malone mishap. i sprayed this on my wrist and yeah. it's aight. very inoffensive after getting used to Fucking Burnt Rubber from them. i guess i'll use it in my first week at my new job? it smells Business: safe and a bit put together. once my new coworkers feel comfortable in my presence, i can scare them with my other perfumes.

Tom Ford - Grey Vetiver

• format: edp
• size: 1.5ml

next tiny freebie. i really liked it UNTIL I DROPPED IT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR. some hotel's tiles will forever smell of vetiver now. and now i know to look for vetiver and moss in my next perfume! (this is foreshadowing)

NOTE The Scent Lab - Tale of Hinoki

• format: edp
• size: 10ml

this is from a small vietnamese brand, i found them while travelling vietnam (awesome country) and their shop and staff was so lovely!!

when i first smelled this into the bottle i was like "hmm ok", then went to the next one, a fruity summer scent that was sold out. so i went back to this, sprayed it on me in case it'll be nicer on skin, and yep! it was. instant love. test your scents, kids.

i guess i wasn't impressed at first from the "safe" floral impression this gave me, but it's nice and comfy actually. middle is lavender and base is where the charm is at. from the name, it's got hinoki which is new in my scent library and i love it for being a light (fresh-herby?) wood note. i think this is my first tonka bean/vanilla base that doesn't come across as too sugary for me. fragrantica also says leather and labdanum which rocks on my chemistry, which explains the skin test's success.

i love this for how confident yet laidback it is. it's uh, Aspirational! i'm afraid of making this my signature scent since i'm not sure if i'll find it again, but i would still call this close to my soul.

I went to a perfume workshop and made Olive's scent

• format: edp
• size: 20ml

of course. Of course. this was a pleasant weekend with my friends and i brought along the people in my head too. i have been hunting something to smell like olive and i never found the Right combo (I'd say neither is rodi's pomegranate noir "the one", but it's a close placeholder until i end up in another workshop like this). i think i nailed it.

i wanted it Green, botanical but not overly flowery, like having a bit of a funk from studying all sorts of plants up close. i had a fight with myself between going for something airy and easy-going, or having the heart of the scent more romantic and warm, and going with the latter won me (and my friends) over. it fits better tbh

i though i'd go woodier, but the heavier amber and sandalwood spoke more to rodi in my head. i was really liking a light musk and peach combo, but it was too soft and olive deserved better than a 1hr scent. i got that lightness from some ozonic accords in the end.

here's how it turned out:

the opening is a bit sharp with citrus (he's a bartender) and sea salt (he's a squid), then mellows into green tea. there's also aloe vera, boronia and bergamot here.

the middle goes into a bit more citrus oil with mandarin, more flowers show up with geranium and violet leaf and that seaweed still plays in the background. there's a little bit of spice that speaks to the bitter drinks he makes. i also picked something tobacco-y for the middle, with leather and musk and vetiver to lean into that chainsmoking, "fuck my baka life", closeted freak side this guy hides.

base is where that bog comes. i picked something called "mossy" and it's a strong oakmoss with patchouli. idfk what armoise is but it's awesome here. (google says mugwort. fuck yeah. it's him. my nose was So right here)

so this all resulted in some earthy green, grounded scent, that keeps shifting between light and heavy as it evolves. so poetic of olive...

anyway, this was really fun! if i wasn't coming in with the intention of making an olive-coded perfume, i would've also leaned into more florals like jasmine and neroli (but i kinda knew i liked those already), and pumped up the tea and cardamom. i would've went with a woody base and placed the herbal stuff like thyme and basil and sage on the top. i didn't click with sweet and rosy notes by themselves, but my husband made a perfume leaning into vanilla and musk as a base, then neroli and herbs on top, which honestly kinda slapped. (<- neroli bias)

Tom Ford - Ombre Leather

• format: edp
• size: 1.5ml

next up in the freebies we have THIS piece of shit. sorry if you like it. this is the first and only perfume i had to wipe off my skin after i sprayed it. i had an even worse headache than the one from "fucking fabulous". wtf happened here??? i have it on a blotter for reference right now, like i'm going through a postmortem.

it's the "overheated car", not "new jacket" kind of leather that's making this sus for me. look. i know i wrote >300 words for fucking fabulous, my og burnt rubber affection, so i expected this to be also Something Something on my skin. no. nononono no. no. something about its combo is fucked, and i have no idea what.

sniffing the blotter repeatedly, i wish i would love it. in theory it's got base stuff i usually like: moss and amber and patchouli. this fucking leather note however, i think they sourced it from something i loathe. yet another example of "test it on your skin". so glad i didn't pay for this. god.

Floral Street - Arizona Bloom

• format: edp
• size: 1.5ml

bought a set of testers from this brand a while ago, since why not. (also to relieve me from the tom ford testers, which have been hit or miss) i was curious about them and they seem to mix some interesting stuff for being in my local drugstore, including this.

this is Big on amber, but they made it more fun with some coconut husk and sea salt vibes. (i just figured out all bottles marketed as "summer" scents play hard on amber. why is that...)

anyway. i have no clue what the floral is here (i initially guessed violets), but fragrantica says jasmine. it's got a sort of midground between mature and youthful smells, like i'm enjoying that sense of freedom a summer day gives me, while knowing i still have to work my piss 9-5 on monday.

initial spray smells like a heatwave. my skin seeeems to be playing well with this, but i see it might turn some people off.

Tom Ford - Eau De Soleil Blanc

• format: edp
• size: 1.5ml

i was pitting this one against that arizona bloom from above (my desperate attempts at remembering what sunlight was like in winter)

this one's an agreeable, cute one. i've been using it as my "safe" choice while travelling. first thing that comes across is the obvious jasmine, and it's playing sweet-bitter with a bunch of other stuff like tuberose and neroli. it's slightly amber and sweet at base.

this is hilariously more floral than the floral street, which is hella amber, and i thought they'd be the other way around just going by the names. the amber's just drowned by the sweeter stuff. i would be happy if i got this as a gift, i'm not too inclined to save up and buy it myself though.

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honorable mentions

• jo malone lime/basil candle i got as a gift from my bestie. one of my favourite candles i'm so sad it's gone :(
• all my teenage moschino eau de toilettes. you were the Gateway Drug